I believe they should make competitive boxing beneficial towards young people. I believe this as it would bring different types of people from different backgrounds together and for them to learn about each others backgrounds. If a group of young people are training for a event, they would start to get to know each other, after time they would learn about each others religion. For example if a young person from a Sikh background was to training and compete with a Christian background, they could learn about each others backgrounds and beliefs. This could also help with peoples relations with other people different to there selves. Having them compete against people of different ethnic, religious and personal beliefs could make them aware of other people in the world and help with their social lives. Also if someone has been brought up with strong beliefs against another religion or a group of people, but when they train with or compete against someone, that could change peoples personal beliefs.

Another reason why competitive boxing is beneficial for young people is good is by giving the Young people something to look forward to do on their weekends, discipline and to help them in their school and personal lives. With the competitive boxing match on a weekend, it will give them something to look forward to during the week. The training would give the young people discipline and self-belief because, they would have to train a lot and the instructors would push them for they’re best. Also after a good match they would want to good feeling that they would want again. It would give them good opportunities to travel around the country to box which would give them the feeling they are good at boxing. This could make them better in school and help them through hard periods in school and in their lives. Competitive boxing could release pressure off the young people and help them in their lives.

The final reason why competitive boxing would be beneficial towards young people because, the ideal thought to keep the young people off the streets and out of trouble. This would benefit young people because, it is giving them something to do in their spare time. The idea of competitive boxing would give the young people something to look forward to and something to focus their attention on. It would keep them out of trouble as they would get discipline, so they might not get into trouble as much but if they got into trouble they would know how to deal with it. Competitive boxing would keep the young people busy so there wouldn’t be young people on the streets causing trouble. There wouldn’t be as many fights as the young people would be taught only to fight in the boxing ring making them a respected group in society again.

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  1. Hello Ronnie,

    Your second paragraph is your strongest here. The structure is much clearer and your ideas show development.

    Look at the sentence: ‘If a group of young people are training for a event, they would start to get to know each other, after time they would learn about each others religion.’ Does this apply specifically to boxing, or could you open it to other sports? Why boxing?

    Vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition – how might you avoid using the phrase ‘the young people’ so often?

    Re-read and edit sentence structures and length.

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